Subscribe RSS Feedlet’s zero in on language, a cornerstone of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the one that uses your sense of hearing. In almost any conversation, you will hear people say things like, “Don’t worry” or “Don’t think about it.” Stop and consider this a moment. If you were told, “Don’t think about that big black dear,” what immediately happens in your mind? Well, despite what you heard, you find yourself thinking about a big black bear. The same kind of thing happens when you are told, “Don’t think about that problem.” Our brains simply don’t know how to put things into negative language. In order to know what not to think of, our brains have to first think of it.
All of us know managers and parents who, in trying to be helpful, tell us or others what not to do. What they are unknowingly doing is sending our attention in exactly the direction they didn’t want us to go. Just a few examples include: “Don’t worry about that client’s temper,” “Don’t panic,” “I don’t think you’re dumb,” and “Don’t even think about being laid off.” Using negative language is also something most of us do to ourselves. We say, “I won’t think about it,” and we do. Other examples most of us are familiar with include: “I won’t do that again,” “Don’t make me mad,” and “Don’t eat sweets before bedtime,” just to name a few. We tend to think of what we don’t want to do, and then often proceed to do it.
The programming part of Neuro-Linguistic Programming means that we can change our thoughts or programs from what they are to what we want them to be. In the case of negative language, we can take our negative thoughts and state them in the positive. Instead of saying what we don’t want, we can say what we do want. Try it. Think of a negative statement you’ve been making to yourself, and experiment with turning it into a positive one, right now. Instead of telling yourself “not to worry,” for instance, try telling yourself to “be alert to opportunities.” Or “How can I best prepare for this challenge?” Or “How would I like to feel?” This not only feels better, it actually reorients your brain and prepares you to achieve more of what you want, by focusing on the positive things you want to happen.
If you just apply the three quick and simple NLP concepts in this section alone, you will know you can use NLP to bring more positive and successful behaviors into your life. First, make what you want to do and what you think about into a positive statement. Second, increase the mental vividness of what you want to do in order to increase its attractiveness for you. And third, associate into these successful behaviors and mentally rehearse them, so they feel natural. This step-by-step program approach is a hallmark of NLP. A practical approach to change, NLP is a how-to technology for personal transformation.
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